Name: SBH Royal Monica
Price range: from £561.45pp (7 nights includes flights and transfers)

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Pool

The SBH Monica Beach Resort hotel, despite being 3*, really deserves more, the location is really good, the beginning of the promenade gives a lot of sightseeing opportunities. The rooms were quite tidy, clean and cleaned every other day, the view from the balcony of Isla de Lobos, Fuerta and Tenerife. The food was the best I've ever eaten in hotels, maybe it's because there's no English food like in other hotels, which leaves room for others and that's why we'll go back there next year. Beach is small but clean.

Best of the best

Firstly let me say Playa Blanca is a beautiful peaceful resort and we had a wonderful holiday. We hired a car for the week, thankfully, and saw so much of the island. 
The hotel however was a bad choice. It’s as far out of the resort as you can get. You would need a car/ bus/ taxi to get here. 
I had emailed ahead because I have mobility issues and asked for a central room of which they replied and put us on the 2nd floor above reception. If like me you struggle with stairs, there is a lift and you will be able to get to all the amenities without using stairs. 
We arrived at 1.30 hoping to be able to get our keys as online it says 2pm check in. We were told quite bluntly however check in was 2.30 and to come back. We were given our wrist band so went for a wonder to grab a coffee. There were other guests trying to check in 5 minutes before 2.30 who were also told to wait. Rules are rules I guess but it’s the way you speak to people that makes all the difference. 
OUR ROOM. The 1st thing I noticed was god knows what all over the bathroom door. Sun cream maybe, I don’t know but it was nasty. The bathroom however was basic but clean. Shower gel and hand soap was provided and the towels were clean but thin and old. There was a hairdryer too but no plug for the bath or sink. 
The bedroom again was basic, the beds are incredibly hard but we slept well. There is a dining table in the living space along with 2 hard strange sofa things. Not sure if they were meant to be extra beds. There was also a cabinet and wardrobe. All of the furniture was tired and dated, the awful pictures on the wall and missing voiles at the windows also added to the drabness of the room, the huge patch of cracked render in the corner of the room and filthy vaulted window further added to the 90’s charm! We had a slightly obscured sea view and a balcony with 2 chairs and a table. There are no cooking facilities in the room, no fridge. There is aircon but you have to hire the remote from reception. Safe was there to hire too. 
FOOD. Honestly I wish we had gone self catering. Dont get me wrong you won’t go hungry and there is plenty of variety, think school dinners. Previous reviews I dismissed about the food were very true. Breakfast was the best meal. Fruit, yogurts, cereals, porridge, fresh pancakes, omelettes, bacon, cheeses, meats… sausages were nasty hot dog sausages. Be warned though if you enjoy a glass of orange juice with breakfast you won’t get it. The self service machines served extremely watery squash. 
Lunch and dinner were pretty much the same thing. There is a decent variety although picky eaters and children may struggle. Everything is just bland, like warm and unseasoned. Even if you got to dinner when they opened it was luke warm. Fresh made pasta dishes were overcooked and just odd but I guess they were catering for French/ German guests.  There is pork of some variety served EVERY evening, it’s cut thin and is overcooked and dry. Paella night was good but won’t suit if you don’t like seafood, there was no meat option. There was always a fish option, very basic salads/ olives etc. most nights there was some sort of chip/ wedge option but not every night. There was fresh bread and all the condiments you could need aswell. As I said you won’t go hungry but honestly after a couple of meals there the thought of the food made us feel sick. The deserts were good most evenings. Mousses, cakes, fruit, ice creams… 
The dining area had an inside bit and 2 parts to the outside (smoking and non smoking). Staff were always working hard but were unwelcoming. Previous reviews said they favoured the French and German guests. This is very much true and made us feel uncomfortable. They were fluent French and German but barely grunted at us. We are always polite and thankful but that didn’t seem to matter. It was never busy when we ate and had no trouble getting an outside table. The tables were always clean but the glass on the outside of the building was grim!
POOL AREA. The pool is quite small and in need of a lot of maintenance like the majority of the hotel. Missing tiles, 2 out of the 3 showers broken, dirty looking. There were some sunbeds but in high season you’ve got no hope. The pool area just wouldn’t be big enough for the number of rooms. It’s not really suitable for young children with the missing tiles and the only way to get into the pool is via metal ladder steps.
POOL BAR. It’s so dark and uninviting, again needs updating. You can help yourself to tea/ coffee/ soft drinks and the snack bar is there. The food however looked horrendous. On the day we arrived the burgers were actually curling at the edges! I can’t comment on the alcoholic drinks. Pool bar staff were always smiling and welcoming. 
BEACH. ITS NOT A BEACH. It’s a tiny amount of sand surrounded by rocks. They have made maybe 10 little open stepped rooms with a couple of sun loungers in each. There’s no hope of getting one though as people were leaving their towels there day AND night! It is however quite beautiful and the snorkelling is good. There’s a little hut next to the promenade that runs alongside the beach that hires snorkels. Not suitable for young children at all.

Everything about the hotel is just dated, grubby and reminiscent of the 90’s. The plants all need tlc as does the whole hotel. There is no atmosphere, I guess it reminds me of a budget retirement village. However if you just want a base to travel the island, enjoy unseasoned, luke warm food and don’t want to chill on the beach or by the pool without jumping in the car then you will be ok! 

We had a late flight home and asked if we could use a room to shower before we left for the airport. Bluntly, again, we were told we would have to use the outside pool shower because the hotel was full. You know the pool shower that only had one of the 3 working, where everyone could see and you were likely to stub your toe on missing tiles! I’m not a betting woman but I would put money on it the hotel was not full! There was no one about, no one on their balconies in the evening, 1/4 full dining hall, no one by the pool… no, they were just rude. Maybe they have had their fill of British tourists, I don’t know. You can do better for your money though. We just got on with it, no point in complaining and spoiling our holiday. PLEASE KNOW however, the people of playa Blanca are extremely welcoming as a whole. We have visited many times and this is the 1st time we have encountered such rudeness.

This hotel is stuck in time. In need of some serious TLC and customer relations courses.

Honest review , no where near as bad as people make out!

Pool area is clean and plenty sunbeds  , rooms dated but spotless and everything you need ,

WiFi pretty non existent unless at pool .

Food- breakfast had everything you would expect at. Spanish AI my only mind was the amount of fat/oil off the bacon and the time it took them to refill finished items.

Lunch- restaurant always had plenty selection only one day out of 7 was nothing I liked.

Evening meal, plenty of choice and all food labelled. Managed to get something to eat every time.

One thing that was overall dissatisfying with the food was the temperature of it, lukewarm warm at every service, including the snack bar. my sister even had beans one morning that felt like they came straight out the fridge! They could also be done with another toaster a standard 4 slice household toaster is no where enough for the amount of guests! 

Evening Entertainment wise we can’t comment as we didn’t go they always had something advertised but wasn’t to our taste ballet etc.

Day entertainment/ staff organised activities randomly for example we had seen no staff during the day for our first 3 days then they just randomly appeared one morning with a pool dance.. 

There is 2 bars on the complex but one nearest blocks 1/2/3/4 is only open for 2 hours a day! Which is a pain as it’s a fair walk back and forth to other bar for a drink if any sort.

Hotel is a good bit out of playa Blanca but can jump on the bus and be at the marina within 15mins costing 1.40euro each or a taxi is 6/7 euro.

If your looking for some where to relax and chill then this is perfect. See view rooms are amazing

Ok for what we paid

Arrived around 8:30 pm, check-in was not the best. Receptionist was not the friendliest or helpful, these are your rooms (party of 5 ,3 rooms) no real directions, no site map, site quite large and it was dark! Eventually found my room ,we had been given a family sea view double. Room was a great size ,but could do with some TLC. Bed was 2 singles pushed together ,not ideal but very comfortable. Bathroom sizeable with over bath shower ,sink ,toilet and hairdryer. Large balcony looking out see was lovely. We had just enough time to sample the all inclusive evening selection, which i have to say was not bad, good selection of meat, fish .pasta and salad and sweets/deserts. EVENING MEALS FINISH 21.15. Breakfast again offered a good selection of both hot and cold options. POOLS .2 pools and a kiddies pool in a separate area. Plenty of sunbeds around pools and also sheltered sunbathing areas with sunbeds along sea front for use of hotel guests. POOL BAR. Open10.30 -23.00 , snacks (burgers, chips and ham and cheese toasties) available 12.30 is until 17.00. his where evening entertainment is held.TO BE AWARE this building and the pools are set away from the main hotel, so if you are not so mobile it is not ideal. Only 2 drinks person served at any one visit to the bar. There is another bar that is very close to the restaurant but is not manned , there are self service wine dispenser and beer pump, cannot think why this area is not put to better use. Overall the food was good at all mealtimes, the drinks were plentiful and free. The staff in the main were pleasant and tried their best(some spoke very little English).
The hotel itself is a little out of it, being probably the last Hotel in Playa Blanca, very close to the Lighthouse. Not a problem if you want a quiet time. Playa Blanca harbour and town is a pleasant 1 hour stroll, Rubicon is about another half an hour walk further on. Taxi's are a problem, being so far out , we waited over 3/4 hour after booking one along with with other families with taxi's taking over an hour especially on market days, i suspect larger hotels and airport runs take most taxi's .Checkout was no hassle 11.00am and there is a locked luggage room. Overall we had a good holiday ,would i go back to this hotel ,possibly. Just a note to bear in mind the brits are a minority at this hotel, mainly French ,German and Dutch ,again this did not bother me in fact it was quite nice to hear different languages. Lots of slopes ,steps around he hotel, there is a small shop on site selling water ,souvenirs ,tobacco products.

GOOD HOLIDAY ,HOTEL COULD OF BEEN BETTER

Arrived about 11.30 at night. Given the key to room 1019, ground floor. Directions given were not clear by the receptionist. All I needed after a long day of travelling. Managed to find it eventually.
Room with 2 single beds pushed together. It's very clean, but very out of date. Towels were old and thin in patches.
The sliding patio door was a nightmare to shut. The frame wasn't that secure. 
Agree with previous comments regarding food. Wasn't the hottest beans always cold. Only one toaster for all in the main restaurant which causes a que, and only   one counter with a few different ice-creams which again, causes a que.
Beach bar by the pool was so out of date and positioned  quite far away for some. No beach here. Rocks and definitely not safe to swim in. The seafront, as they call it, has a public walkway with joggers from early in the morning til evening. I was a bit concerned about being on my own at night and so close to the walkway. It was ok. There is a lot of noise at night. People above me, next door and outside. Take earplugs.
The TV had no English channels. I did not pay a deposit for a remote control for the air con. In this day and age, it's not heard of. 
The room definitely needs a mini fridge and kettle. 
There is no information pack at all in the room. There's not much info in reception.
To get to the beaches, marina or bus station, you need to catch the number 30 bus at Faro Park 10 minutes from the Hotel.
The small area for kids looks unsafe. The toddlers pool is next door to the main pool, so not ideal if you have children of different ages if you want to keep an eye on them. The new photos that have been updated on the website are not realistic. There are showers by the pool. In one block, only one shower. The other block had 3 showers but only one working.
The paths around the whole site were not even and needed repairing. Not for those that have walking difficulties. 
Check out is 11 am. My transport was as 18.40 so I had to wait in the reception area. I asked to use the complimentary room to shower in after sitting by the pool all day, but was told they had none and use the shower by the pool which had no privacy. 
This could be a good hotel if money was put into it. Needs so much updating and basics in the rooms such as kettle and mini fridge. No deposit for a remote controller for air con and a tv with English channels. WiFi was basically non existent. Hotel is definitely no more than 3 stars.  Food is ok, but waiting for some food to come out took ages. Food could be cold.



Only a 3 star. Good if you wanted a bed to sleep for the night if you were to hire a car and travelled around the island.

The hotel is located next to a small natural beach with small coves available to our guests. The hotel SBH Royal Mónica features expansive facilities with large, bright rooms decorated with modern and attractive furnishings. The gastronomy is another strength at the hotel SBH Royal Mónica and is present in different areas of the hotel (snack bar and restaurant).

The centre of Playa Blanca is just 4 km away and you can get there if you wish by taking a pleasant walk along the maritime walkway next to the hotel or by public transport via the suburban trains.

The paradisiacal beaches of Papagayo are approximately ten minutes away by car. Also quite close to the hotel (around 15 km) is the Timanfaya National Park, also known as Montañas de Fuego (Fire Mountains), and El Golfo, a picturesque fishing village where you can enjoy their rich gastronomic offering based on top quality fresh fish and seafood. If you'd like to visit the neighbouring island, Fuerteventura, there are several daily connections by boat from the Playa Blanca port. The journey only takes 20 minutes.

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SBH Royal Monica