Lanzarote Village

Perfect family holiday…that is to say, it was nice and quiet. The hotel and surrounding area is nice and peaceful. It’s laid back. Chilled out. Calming and relaxing. No loud music, no loud people. Everyone was nice and civilised. You gotta wear clothes if you wanna eat in the hotel restaurant. Little things. Respectful things. Like having a crack at speaking Spanish to Spanish people. In Spain. The Hotel was 10/10. Food and drinks were all brilliant, everyday. Proper booze on the all-inclusive: rum, gin, whiskey, vodka, sparkling wine, cocktails, everything. Proper. No messing around. The local piss, Ron Miel, is great. It’s made with honey. All the meals were fantastic quality and variety. Top-drawer. The Canary Islands even have their own flavour of ice cream: Gofio. Man alive! It’s like angels crying over ya taste buds! Anyway, Staff were super friendly and helpful. Cleaners are heaven-sent. Room wasn’t massive but ideal for a family of 4: mum n dad, plus 11 and 8 year olds kids. Beds were super comfy and clean, shower and bathroom were great, air-con was awesome and quiet. Ample wardrobe space. Balcony was great with sea view. Honestly, we couldn’t fault the hotel at all. No music around the pool is a god-send. Not much in the way of evening entertainment…just what we love: peace and quiet! I read me book while the kids played happily in the fantastic pool. There was never an issue getting sun beds, even mid-August. Tennis court is great and free (x2 sessions) with the all inclusive package, which we opted for. I think they even have a tennis coach on-site, but not 100% on that. Hotel is a 1 minute walk to the incredible, amazing, stunningly beautiful beach - playa de los pocillos. You literally step out the hotel, cross the road, and you’re on the beach.

The local area is stunning, with incredibly beautiful flora everywhere. The hotel specifically and the town generally maintains them religiously. The town is splendidly well planned, along the massive stretch of beach from Matagorda (a 20 min walk east), down towards the old town of Puerto del Carmen (a 45 minute walk westbound). There are heaps of awesome shops, cafes, bars, restaurants, a million Irish pubs, all within a 15 minute walk towards town. There’s a really great mini golf place called Volcano Safari Golf, and there’s a great bus service that runs every 15-20 minutes.

The sea is so clear and beautiful. When the wind gets up (which is every afternoon, to varying degrees, and a god-send in August), the waves get brilliantly choppy. It’s no good for surfing, but boogie boarding’s alright, and our 11 year old and 8 year old absolutely loved getting nailed by the waves. The mornings when there’s no wind, the sea is like glass. The beach is wide and flat and doesn’t shelve much at all, so it’s proper safe. And there’s always lifeguards on duty every day. Same as the hotel pool….the dude’s there everyday 11:00-19:00. Legend.

One last thing, we went snorkelling at Playa Chica. It’s fantastic. The best. Visibility is off the richter! Go early in the morning. Reception will call you a cab. It’s €5 and 5 mins. By 11:00 every scuba diver on the island, and their mum will descend on Playa Chica and do shore dives right where you are.

Lanzarote Village hotel is absolutely gorgeous in every way. And not just architecturally, I mean it’s the staff who make it so great and by extension, made our holiday so memorable. Every single member of staff did their job brilliantly, everyday day. The chefs are fantastic, the waiters, the cleaners, the receptionists, the gardeners, the lifeguard, everyone. The food at every service was amazing. Omelettes made to order, fresh fish and seafood everyday, beef steaks, pork steaks, so many different salads, the cheeses! OMG the blue cheese was the best, and the bisque soup is one of the best I’ve ever had. The desserts were incredible. The ‘grandmothers’ cake I think it’s called was to die for. All four of us absolutely fell in love with Lanzarote in general, and this hotel in particular.

We arrived a little too early to check in to our rooms but were allowed to use all facilities while we waited. The rooms were a decent size with a balcony and were cleaned daily to a high standard. There were plenty of Sunbeds available all day, just the odd days when it was very busy mid afternoon. The food was fantastic with a huge variety of options for breakfast, lunch and dinner. We would definitely return in the future.

The staff are extremely unhelpful and rude - would not recommend at all . From the minute we arrived at the hotel I knew it was not going to be a good experience. We arrived at around half 11 with check in being 2pm we asked if our bags could be stored - we were given the key to the storage room which had a lot of other peoples luggage stored - zero supervision - anyone could rummage through your stuff . The older lady at the front desk advised we could get our room at half one which we were delighted with - I went back at 13.45 to be told no and I asked would we come back at 2pm as this was the agreed check in time she smirked and said I don’t know you can try. At half 2 I went back and again she said the room is not ready and called who I assume was a cleaner to check the room and advised it would be probably another hour which we were disappointed with as it was 15.45 before we got into our room and we had been on the go from 3am. Her facial expressions and shoulder shrugs came across really unprofessional and rude. The food is really poor with hardly any variety - they did not know what poached eggs were at breakfast and the pool bar staff looked at me with ten heads when I asked if they had any cider. The pool bar food is dreadful. We were never greeted with a smile by anyone - everyone who works here seems to be miserable. One thing I will say is the rooms are spacious and are cleaned daily. We did notice ants in certain corners of the room , the door handle of the bathroom was clinging on for dear life and we had no light on our balcony. One thing that really surprised us was they did not provide us with bottled water - considering this is supposed to be a four star hotel you would expect at least one bottle of water to be put in the fridge daily. I would not class this place at 4 star at all!! Anytime we asked the older lady on the front desk to order a taxi for us - she had a face on her. The strip of bars and restaurants is about 20/30 minute walk from the hotel so we would get a taxi down and walk back up after dinner. My son put 1€ into a game machine they have and I couldn’t get it to work I went out to tell the lady at the desk who rolled her eyes and begrudgingly gave me the coin back and said don’t put anymore coins in - obviously !! Two minutes later she arrived into the game room hit the machine and got it to work and stuck her hand out to me without saying a word as if to say give me the money back. They don’t allow you to eat around the pool at your sun lounger and I seen on two different occasions the older guy from the pool bar shout at people for doing it. Fair enough if they had been told multiple times but this was not the case. Spend your money elsewhere - don’t come to Lanzarote village hotel !