Secrets Lanzarote Resort and Spa

The hotel was amazing from start to finish. The staff’s hospitality is outstanding. From the minute we walked through the door, a staff member called Joseba took our luggage from us, sat us down in a comfortable waiting area and offered us a complimentary drink whilst we waited to check in. Our room was spotless, and spacious. The buffet food changed everyday and was of a very high standard. Freshly cooked steak, chicken, fish etc. The grounds of the hotel were incredible, with multiple pools, places to relax and aesthetic looking areas. The spa area was kitted out with multiple luxuries; red light sauna, steam room, rock pools and jacuzzi jets. The only slight changes I would’ve wanted was the WiFi connection to have been better outside of our room and perhaps the gym to have had a few more advance pieces of equipment; although it has all the standard pieces already! Would definitely come back here, next time as an all inclusive guest, to be able to get the benefits of endless luxury this hotel offers.

The resort was wonderful and our experience very positive cava and minted towels on arrival was special, the food in all the restaurants was excellent, highly recommend the steak at the Grill overlooking the pool having our own bbq on the table was great fun. The evening entertainment was excellent and the evening bar staff exemplary very attentive and service to the chair, pool service was also very good but sometimes a little thin on the ground. Our only tiny niggle was housekeeping was a little inconsistent and on a least two occasions we had to request towels and tea and coffee supplies from reception. There was plenty of choice of sunbeds either around the multiple pools or away from them. Atmosphere very relaxed with unobtrusive pleasant music. We paid one visit to the spa which was amazing we both had a diamond glow facial which was superb, note that the spa was additional cost but good value for money, jets in the spa pool abundant and two jacuzzi’s to choose from sauna steam and a sun terrace plus multiple showers etc. It is an easy stroll along sea front to the marina and a few restaurants there, a nice market on Tuesdays and Fridays but not many shops other than a small supermarket which we did find handy for additional sun cream supplies. We left puerto calero twice and we extremely happy to return to the secrets resort, if we came back to Lanzarote again we wouldn’t want to stay anywhere else. All in all a memorable luxury holiday

If you’re looking for a luxury 5-star holiday, keep looking because this definitely isn’t it!

We were so excited for this trip because the Secrets brand has such a strong reputation for luxury, but sadly it was nowhere near the five-star experience its name promises. I genuinely wish we’d read a review like this before booking.

The hotel simply doesn’t deliver a five-star experience. It’s tired, poorly maintained, confusing to navigate, inconsistent in its service and, worst of all, completely lacks the level of customer care you’d expect. Our room had peeling wallpaper and stains, the resort had chipped walls, peeling flooring around the pool and obvious maintenance issues throughout. The Wi-Fi didn’t work at all during our stay, there were never enough sun loungers, and the pool toilets were filthy and smelt awful.

The Preferred experience was where everything started to unravel. We’ve stayed in hotels with premium upgrades before and never had an issue, but this was completely different. It was never properly explained what we could and couldn’t access, and the restrictions seemed to vary across different bars, restaurants and areas of the hotel. Sometimes we’d be served without question, other times we’d be told we couldn’t use the very same place because it was for Preferred guests. The inconsistency was frustrating, confusing and ultimately left us feeling like second-class guests. Even the name “Preferred” didn’t sit right with us. Whether intentional or not, it reinforces the feeling that everyone else somehow isn’t a valued guest.

The food was another huge let-down. The buffet just wasn’t five-star in any way. The quality and choice were disappointing, we were made to feel like a nuisance simply because our group of five wanted to sit together at breakfast, and even the steakhouse served cold, flavourless food.

Another moment that summed up the holiday was when my partner walked to reception in the early hours because we were thirsty and simply wanted bottled water. Instead of helping, he was told we’d have to pay €10 for room service. Surely in a five-star all-inclusive hotel, giving guests a bottle of water in the middle of the night is just basic customer care? We genuinely couldn’t believe it. We also couldn’t get a proper coffee until 10:30am because the coffee lounge didn’t open until then.

The biggest disappointment, though, was the Guest Experience Manager (I believe his name was Alejandro). We raised our concerns because we genuinely hoped Guest Experience would do exactly that - look after the guest experience. We couldn’t have been more wrong. All we wanted was someone to listen, show a little empathy and understand why we were so disappointed. Instead, we were met with rudeness, arguments and zero customer care. We were told we’d “come unprepared”, “didn’t do enough research”, and then, “If you don’t like it, relocate.” I was honestly shocked. I’ve never experienced customer service like it at a five-star hotel. We left feeling like our concerns simply didn’t matter.

The only positives were the warm welcome from reception on arrival and the Italian restaurant, which was by far the best meal of the holiday.

Overall, Secrets Lanzarote completely missed the mark. Of all the five-star all-inclusive hotels we’ve stayed in, this has been the worst without question. We came away feeling frustrated, disappointed and completely let down.

I genuinely cannot recommend this hotel and would encourage anyone considering booking to spend their money elsewhere. We certainly wish we had.