Adriana Beach Club Hotel Resort

Fantastic family holiday. Entertainment team were fantastic, I have no idea where they get their energy from - they are flat out from morning til night. The grill was brilliant for lunch, bbq fish and meat made fresh in front of you.

Agree with the previous reviewer. Butlins but sunny is very apt.

We spent a fortnight here in early August, so peak season and during the six weeks holidays. Cost was just under £5000 for two adults and one child, staying in a "promotional" room in block AA.

Personally I didn't mind that it was a 5 minute walk away from reception and the pool, it meant it was very quiet on an evening.

My experience really is a bit sullied by it claiming to be 4*, and therefore commanding a bit of a premium for this. We normally go 4/4plus for our yearly holiday and this has been by far the worst of all the places we've been in this rating bracket. If it was advertised as 3*, and has a price to reflect that, it would have been a much higher rating.

I was going to list this as pros and cons but the cons list was really long which isn't fair really, so I'll just put it as bullet points.

• Pools. The main pool is large and never felt busy even when it was rammed. The shape helps alot with always being able to get a decent amount of space. There are smaller pools and a nice splash park for the kids.

• Reception is lovely, and if arriving early before room is ready there are facilities to store luggage. Reception was polite and welcoming

• The food. Think lukewarm buffet with nothing really seeming to have any flavour. It's a random assortment of things (which I get, catering to different tastes) but it's almost impossible to make a coherent meal out of anything on offer. It's very noticeable after a few days that the snack and lunch are just slightly warmed up leftovers from the previous service. Even arriving bang on opening nothing felt hot (apart from the pizza which is made fresh and therefore has a big queue). We tried the two restaurants a few nights but while the setting is nice and the staff are lovely, if you have a child with you they'll offer a kids menu. This isn't a menu, it's chips and cold chicken nuggets every day at both restaurants (of really low quality, think Iceland or Tesco value range).

They come out about 20 minutes after you've sat down so the kids are sat around with nothing to eat. Our little boy didn't like the nuggets so it was french fries or nothing.

The food offered was nice but the same every night, and the only real flavour to anything was salt.

• Loungers. Like most places they stress you can't reserve a lounger. Unlike other places this is a lie, with absolutely no policing of it. I went for a coffee at 7am most mornings and at least half the loungers were claimed. The beach doesn't have nearly enough loungers for the amount of guests (at least in peak season) although when walking on the beach at 8am after my morning coffee I did notice only a handful were taken so maybe they are policed?

• Accomodation. We had a promotional room in an annex, which sounds worse than it is. Initially disappointed (again, it's not 4*) it was functional enough and did the job. The balcony was name only though. Previous resorts we've been able to have a drink on the balcony and a chat once the little one is in bed but here we'd have had to stand behind each other being blasted by hot air for the Aircon unit. It's nice and warm but not from the sun so much as an exhaust, think opening a car bonnet on a hot day. Rubbish, frankly.

• Resort. It's in the middle of nowhere. Literally. No shops within walking distance, no pharmacy, no souvenir shop. Nothing. Has the feeling of having been cheap land in the 90s with a resort built on it. If you run out of something you've got the onsite shop which is pretty small or have to get an Uber to town, which is about €15 each way and takes half an hour. The beach was lovely though but could have done with a little toilet block or an ice cream hut or something. Walking back to the resort for stuff is a bit naff. I saw a lot of complaints about the stairs to the beach but they're fine, and offer a really nice view from the top. Not sure what people expect them to do about that, move the beach?

• Value. This is the main one. While it's peak season and with that comes an increase in price, everything seemed to carry a small extra charge with a sense of being nicked and dimed at every opportunity. For example, Mini Golf (in really poor condition and waterlogged for days after a tiny bit of rain one night) was €20 cash for a deposit (only cash. If you don't have any they have an ATM that charges a €5 fee for withdrawals) and €3 per person for a club and ball. Save money and just get one and share it. If they're concerned about you making off with a club why not just charge the room if you don't return it? Better yet why not just have the clubs in a basket next to the course, if theft really a problem? The course is as far away from reception as is possible. Pool and air hockey are €1 cash per game, and were frequently broken.

If you want to travel to the local towns there is a bus service which leaves at either 9am or 11am, and returns at either 16:30 or 18:30. The destination alternates each day. This is far too long to spend in either of the two towns. Again, everywhere else I've been these have been complimentary, but here it's €3 per person, and needs to be booked at reception a day in advance.

If you want to use the indoor pool you need a shower cap. If you don't have one they'll sell you one for €5 each. Why not just give them our? They've got the hotel branding on anyway!

A tip, the Family Golf Course in Vilamoura is worth a look and pretty cheap. There's also a pharmacy and spar there to stock up on things. Recommend if you've got kids. The museum is also worth a look but it closes for lunch and opens at 2pm, so if you've got the 9:30 shuttle bus you'll be milling around alot. Buy in advance online and get an Uber. If you want a bed lounger it's €10 per day hire. If you want a beach towel is a €10 deposit.

Part of this review can be attributed to me booking 14 nights which, even with a few visits to the two towns, was far too long but that's no reflection on the hotel. Poor planning on my part (the price difference between 7-14 nights was fairly small all things considered)

Pros: Clean, 30 min mini disco daily, fine sandy beach for children. Grill eating venue for breakfast lunch is a must. Superior room is a must at the quiet end to be close to amenities.

Cons: its on the take off flight path from 6am, take ear plugs if a light sleeper. It’s Butlins for the Portuguese. It’s a Resort not a large hotel Queuing is therefore mandatory for everything. Got used to the sign ‘out of order’, in peak season? Premium All Incl go to the front of the bar que, can order multiple drinks, that’s okay but it all adds to waiting. Lunch is your evening meal, just reworked. No kids menu, other than daily staples like plain pasta. The beach sun loungers and the unwritten 45 min rule. Your kicked off if you go away for eg lunch. We were to find our towels and pegs on a pile in the sand. I’m sad, in the Gymn early but what I can tell you is the pool sun loungers have nearly all gone by 7:30 am! Never teamed up with the Germans on hol before, but we did at this resort. The Portuguese will wait until just before the entertainment starts at 9:30 then stand directly in front of you. They don’t care you were there 2 hrs earlier to get a seat.

My Rec 3HB all inclusive hotels on the same beach down the coast. Done them both multiple times, amazing hotels for children and families. They address all the above.