Kresten Royal Euphoria Resort

We are still here...this hotel is lovely but just things to know before you book. Nothing major.... We upgraded to a junior suite, our children were in a normal room and tbh we would of preferred there room. Note, you have no dressing table or stool in the suite, the TV is not in front of your bed its at the end of the room in front of manky sofa bed, we pulled out but had no bed sheets on, also no English channels at all....for us those two things were a killer for us... Please dont slate us for that 🤣. Otherwise bathroom was lovely....thank god... Also barman at top pool goes on a break, and there is no one who covers him whilst hes gone !!!!. Pool shuts at 6pm too again...too early ...lots of people agreed with that. But it is a nice hotel and great location and staff are lovely.... Just a few things I have pointed out that I would of liked to know before we booked.

This hotel cares only about profit not your holiday. This negatively will affect your stay:

1. The food was cold, repetitive and at times disgusting, recycled from one restaurant to the other. Soggy onion rings and soaking wet cheese on toast from the bain marie, moisture dripping onto the food, are just 2 breakfast horrors. Cold eggs in every form, dried to bits bacon I think, hot dogs ( faired better in the drippy bain marie) but still cold.
2. The drinks - they allocate one bottle of water to your room otherwise you have to ask for it from reception like Oliver Twist. The soft drinks are syrup based and not branded. They are vile, ultra sugary, ultra processed and taste chemically. The alcohol is worse. One choice of beer under their all inclusive and really cheap nasty wine. I couldn’t drink it, just awful. The cocktails were dreadful and filled with syrupy juices out of a hose! I commented to my husband even if you stomach their alcohol you don’t get drunk, not a bad thing but how does that happen only in bars on this resort?
3. The entertainment is lame verging on cringe.
4. The hotel has cats everywhere including a designated stinking cat area outside the open doors to the restaurant, you have to pass this just before eating 🤢.
5. As for themed restaurants 🤣 Asian and Greek are in the same venue which is the stinking, filthy pool bar during the day. The Asian buffet is so pathetic it’s laughable, think super noodles, a bao bun and a stir fry sauce chucked over some beef left over from somewhere else . The Greek ‘restaurant’ frankly showed me I do not like Greek food apparently.
6. You will be disturbed by maintenance of some of their grounds mostly if you pay lots more for a swimming pool room. One gardener took 2 full days on a ride on mower to mow approx. 1/2 an acre of dead grass! At times he roared past without the blades being down. We have the same mower at home, he was just driving a noisy mower not even mowing at the back of our pool, flinging dust clouds and debris as he went.

The rest of the place looked so neglected. Sun beds are dirty, old and broken. Seeing the sweat outline of the previous user on your sun bed cushion is disturbing. Filthy bean bags, also sweat stained to sit and watch the ‘entertainment’ from were reminiscent of a uni festival. 7) Finally, because I could find a million other complaints, the staff must be mentioned!!! Most were really rude, customer hating rude, apathetic rude, particularly if you failed to agree to them selling you a bottle of wine outside of the all inclusive package. All were over worked ( apart from the man on the ride on)! A manager I showed an enormous black hair to in my salad in the buffet just shrugged ( I am blonde, hubby is bald) - he blamed other customers for the rogue hair, he’d have blamed us I’m sure if he could’ve. Pedros at the pool bar was the exception, happy and great at his job but the poor man worked the bar largely on his own and was swamped and still had to serve disgusting drinks.

I have written this enormous review because this hotel is hideously over priced, the brochure pictures lie, the swimming pool rooms have a shabby NE facing pool area so you are in the shade all day and the slabs around the pool are weed infested, loose and sharp. It is a 2 star hotel in my opinion charging 5 star prices. Knowing what you spent to be there and seeing money saving corners being cut everywhere at the detriment of the guests stay was appalling hospitality. Avoid at all costs.

Overall we had a really nice time here.

Staff are generally great. Without doubt the stand out :

Fotini (amazing and doesn't stop smiling) Nikos (amazing and doesn't stop smiling) Argiro (amazing and makes you feel so welcome at breakfast and lunch)

Room (3xx) was great. Modern with beautiful views of the sea. Great big bathroom. Glass doors meaning light easily enters the room - just stuff your towel in the window frame.

Food in the main buffet was great. Lots of choice daily at lunch and dinner. If you can't find anything you like then you need to get a life. For kids, there is pasta but they could have provided some chicken nuggets or something for the ultra fussy.

Drinks are rubbish. Cocktails leave a weird taste in your mouth and give strange dreams. Beer is average at best. Soft drinks are branded which is great if that's your thing.

Entertainment is so poor other than the band whose singer tries to get the audience moving. The fire show consists of some guy balancing a kid on his feet followed by 10 minutes of fire show.

Closing the pool at 6pm is comical. The lifeguard is a joke - during our stay his main focus was the attention of some loud iranian girls who were irritating some old Swedes.

There is no security at all here. Anybody is free to wander in and burgle your room. I understand it's rife.

To be a real 5 star (as opposed to charging guests 5 star tourist tax), the hotel needs to sort the above.

Would i come back? Yes, i would but it could be better than it is.