Nissiblu Beach Resort

Great service, special thanks to NADEZHDA for her hospitality and professionalism during our stay . She made our breakfast vibe very cheerful .

Lovely stay Lovely hotel, clean and very comfortable. Great location not far from Ayia Napa and only a few minutes walk to the beautiful Nissi beach - one end clearly for families the other clearly for partygoers with thumping music. A short 5 min drive to Makronissos beach, which is actually cleaner and much nicer than Nissi beach. The rooms were kept spotlessly clean by an army of cleaners, the buffet breakfast was plentiful and tasty with a great variety and we loved the outdoor adult only area.

The not so good - large families with dozens of young children literally running down the corridors and around the reception area with the families seemingly oblivious or actively encouraging it. The lift wars also were an eye-opener with some families oblivious to etiquette, barging past a poor guy on crutches is not cool! The hotel was open to non residents, like many hotels I know, however this meant, especially at weekends, large families would descend often meaning there were not enough Sunbeds for paying guests. One weekend a large family arrived with their own food and drink, demanded Sunbeds which the poor pool guys were then runnning around to find they then ate their own food, left the rubbish by the beds and then promptly left for the beach.

All in all a great hotel and worthy of 5 stars, high maintenance, demanding guests however, have no etiquette or shame it seems!

Firstly, this is a very good hotel. It does what a good hotel should. Comfortable rooms, friendly staff, good food. The lobby bar has polished floors perfect for children to slide on. Whether this is a feature or an accepted liability remains unclear.

Breakfast is very good, with plenty of choice, decent food and friendly service. There is, however, only one toaster, creating the daily Great British Toast Shuffle. Guests loitering awkwardly around the toaster, shuffling, awkward smiling, apologising for running it through twice. It’s an unnecessarily tense way to start the day. Note to management: Buy another toaster. Holiday makers sanity depends on it.

Come the afternoon, occasionally, the Nissi Bay Beach Bar cranks up thumping house music loud enough to reach the beach, the hotel and quite possibly Turkey and Syria. Fancy a peaceful afternoon by the pool? You’re in luck, provided “peaceful” occasionally stretches to include an intense four-to-the-floor beat and the odd nosebleed.

The pool is large and diligently patrolled by ‘The Enforcer’, the poolside lifeguard and his trusty whistle, reprimanding five-year-olds for daring to enter the jacuzzi and adults for daring to splash their kids. ‘The Enforcer’ takes no prisoners, runs a tight ship, and I wholeheartedly support his mission and vision. Frankly, more pools need a man like this.

Weekends around the pool are pure land-grab anarchy. Non-residents seemingly drift in, personal space vanishes, and reserving a sunbed requires genuine military tactics. Pick your territory early, erect barricades and barbed wire and prepare to defend it to the death. Paying guests really shouldn't have to fight this hard.

The resort does also attract some enthusiastic practitioners of lift barging, close-contact conversation and speaking at a volume normally reserved for ferry departures. Different strokes, I suppose.

And for me, one of the best bits is retreating to the beautifully air-conditioned room, showering and laying on the gloriously comfy bed in your birthday suit before contemplating which overpriced and mildly underwhelming restaurant is going to relieve you of your hard-earned cash that evening.

Once you’ve put your glad rags on and given yourself a liberal coating of Homme Très Lovely, turn right out of the hotel and you’re into the usual mix of identikit bars, supermarkets and restaurants serving what appears to be the same menu. Portions are enormous. Order for two and enough food arrives to feed a small Spanish enclave. The taramasalata is particularly prolific. There’s clearly a central facility nearby. I’m not saying it’s an underground communal tank, but I’m not ruling it out. And I promise you, by the end of your holiday you will never, ever, wish to see a piece of pitta bread again.

If you fancy Ayia Napa for an authentic British night out, there’s a packed bus or reception can order a taxi. About ten minutes and €12–15. Probably the taxi.

Would I recommend the NissiBlu? 100%. It’s a good hotel in a good location, comfortable, friendly, well run and somewhere you’d happily come back to. The rest just adds a bit of colour.